|I am so glad another mommy from the group brings her cute boy so mine can have a buddy!|
We all went out for brunch after the event. It was fun to visit with everyone since I did my own thing during the run. By the time we left 'Morning Squeeze' restaurant, it was only 11:30 am and we had nothing planned for the rest of the day. The freeway systems in AZ still freak me out after 7 years. I still get lost everywhere. But we were already out so we were gonna make the most of it and waste some time having fun. First stop was the Chandler Mall. The boys love the play place there. I love it because it's: air conditioned, the boys can run like crazy, they have soft seats for me, and I can sit and wave at the boys while checking stuff on my phone. An hour to Instagram and Pinterest, yes please! Any chance I can squeeze in some 'me time' while the boys think I am watching them play is good in my book.
While the kids played I snacked on the Huppy Bar I was given to do a review on. I wanted to like these so bad. The ingredients are amazeballs. So clean, and all natural. I live on bars since we are always on the go. I don't think I have ever seen a bar with all the super food in it before. Nuts, seeds, organic oats, flax, etc However, I just didn't like it. It contained spirulina, a superfood, and I think I tasted that too strongly. If you have a palate that can take strong flavors and wholesome ingredients than this is a bar for you. After a good hour at the play place we browsed a few clothing stores. That went pretty good until the boys decided to trick me and hide under the clothing racks to quietly watch me panic and run around yelling their names. They would pop out and yell BOO just giggling away. I don't know if I should've laughed or paddled them. I had about enough of the trying to shop, but we couldn't leave without spending another hour in the Lego store. Free fun is about my favorite thing in the world. The Lego store is always a hit because they can build Lego's, play interactive games, and I am mean enough to be able to leave the store empty handed not having spent a dime. I am lucky that my kids have learned that although I may like to do fun things with them, and most days are centered around them, I rarely buy them something unless they have earned it. I don't want it to be a battle every time we walk in a toy store. I don't want them to expect to come away with a new toy each time.
We capped off the day finding a great park to play at. I was starting to have some negative self talk by this point. Friends from my running group had started texting pics of our morning's event. Between looking at those pics and trying a few outfits at the mall, I was starting to get down about my figure. None of the clothes I tried on looked good. My arms are starting to look like linebacker arms. My shorts leave intentions on my gut. I hate to blog about body image because I know we all look so different. But I do believe that this is a topic we can all relate with. I have put on 8 lbs since surgery. I haven't run in 89 days, but spent lots of those days eating like I was still running. 3 months ago I could still find stuff I didn't like about my body. If only I could get rid of my back fat or my butt more lifted and so on. What would I give to have that body I previously had! Why did I have to find stuff wrong with it when now I wish it for it back? Why do we do that?? Most women can find some thing wrong with our self image no matter how fit or unfit we are. I am sure that a time will come that I will look back and think, "why the heck could I have not just been happy with how I looked after surgery compared to now?!" I want to make a conscious effort to STOP that negative self talk. Hopefully if you struggle with this, you can join me in this effort. I was pushing my boys on the swing while whining about my gained weight in my mind. My oldest son Kade suddenly yelled out to me...
"Mom guess what? I am so lucky!"
"Why are you so lucky bud?"
"Because I have the best mom in the whole world".
I immediately teared up. I owe it to my boys to love myself so that I can love them. I owe it to my family to be happy with who I am no matter if my arms are perfectly toned or not. I have to accept that no matter if I am 115 lbs or 125 lbs, there will prob still be something I don't like about my body. But I need to punch those thoughts in the face. My family and friends do not care what I weigh. I don't want to let that negative self talk dictate my mood any longer.
We got home in enough time to get dinner ready for my hubby after his long day. It was grilled cheese and apples for the boys and chili for Nate and I. Yes, I make separate meals every night for us. I envy the moms who are determined enough to just make one meal and the kids know they have to eat what the parents are eating or they go to bed hungry. I am not there yet. On the nights I cook, the boys get a separate meal of nuggets or mac&cheese etc. You just do your best right?! The boys are great a drinking green smoothies but still struggle with eating veggies. If you are a chili lover then you have got to try this. Ground turkey, diced chilied tomatoes, whatever cans of beans you like (I do pinto and black), corn, and my favorite is El Pato' sauce mixed in. I microwave a sweet potato and throw the chili on top. Paired it with my favorite way to eat veggies which is oven roasted. Spray a little EVOO on top and there you have it. Easy, simple, and pretty healthy. Hope everyone had an eventful weekend. And remember to love your imperfections!